I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
