don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
