Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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