went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
