How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Randomize
