her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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