Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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