It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
