reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
