My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
