I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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