i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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