I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
