That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
