i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
