nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
