I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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