Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
