Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Couch. On fire.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
