i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
