So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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