I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
