When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
