Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
