Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
