Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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