I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
