plz talk dirty to me
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
