i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
