physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Is it because I queefed?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
