How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Randomize
