yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I still have a little drunk in my system
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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