I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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