i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
