It was confusing and full of hummus
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
