So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
