You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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