omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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