We're like a lot better than the average bears
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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