Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
