i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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