so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Nicole vs. Life
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
