im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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