you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
