Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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