2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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