Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
