Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
