she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
