Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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