I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
