just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
