I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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